Don’t Laugh At Me

Let’s be honest people. This is the most retarded song ever. How did Helen Keller talk with her hips? She used her hands to sign language. If this is where music is headed, I’m scared.

I just got one of the most unusual IMs I’ve ever received. I know there are bots out there, but in this economy, this one communicates a message that makes you a little uneasy.

— 5/15/2009 —
RecycledCoho (4:58 PM):
This is an automated message, which your employer has chosen to distribute via Coho bot. You have been laid off. Do not come to work in the future, as you are no longer employed.

Anyone else receive a message like this? I actually IM’d the screenname back and it comes back and tells me it is some guy named Jose. I don’t know if it’s a bot or this RecycledCoho is actually some kind of thing that relays between random screennames and this guy and I just happened to get linked somehow. Random!

So this week I am on vacation. So far, it has been a productive week for me. I went to the doctor on Monday for the pain I’ve been having in my knee. His opinion is that I’m having some kind of inflammation in the knee and that there are no other issues. They took an X-Ray and everything looked to be fine and my movements don’t hurt unless there is kneeling. So I’m on some anti-inflammatory medication that will hopefully cause everything to go back to normal. If not, it’s on to an MRI to find out what else could be the issue.

Today, I helped my grandpa clean out his barn/shed at his house. I got up on the second level and took everything out and swept it all clean. He had the shed built back in the 80s and has never cleaned up there since. I found a dead rat carcass that had probably been up there for years. It was really weird looking. Like a skeleton only. However, we were able to clean everything out and throw out years worth of things that they never were going to use ever again.

Tomorrow, if the rain holds off long enough, the people are coming to redo our awning over the back patio area. The first installer didn’t do it right and it ended up blowing up during a good wind. Well, that bent the material but he came back and put it back using the bent material. So we had a leaky dang patio cover so the company is sending some other guy to come and take it down and start from scratch, with new material, and do it right.

I think I might be hanging out with Britney tomorrow, whom I have not seen in ages. I don’t know if we are or though cause we were planning on the beach action, but it really looks like rain. I think I might spend the day cleaning up my room. I really want to paint the room, but I don’t know. I need to stain all my furniture so that it all matches. Sounds like I have quite a plan sometime. The only thing I hate is that my room is so small. I just don’t have room for anything.

I have a strategy to get out of debt in the next year or so and I will hopefully be able to explore the idea of living on my own. I’m afraid that the strategy may include me working a second job, for part-time. I just need a gig that would be like 3 nights a week for a few hours. Use my second check just to pay bills. I’ll have to see though…I just don’t know if I’m ready to go back to working ’til late at night.

We shall see where the path takes me. On a different note though: I’m glad to see that I’m back on the blog. I am going to strive to post more often here. It’s hard for me to sit and do it though. I’m going to dedicate myself back to it. If I ever get daily again, it will be a miracle.

So here’s the deal: Lately, I have started to write on the blog and I get this weird feeling about the whole ordeal and end up scrapping my post. So for the first time, in a long time, I am going to let me feelings flow and not press cancel.

I think I might just hate the person whom I have become. I think about the free spirit that I once was. There was a time when I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought about me. All I was concerned about is getting out there and having a great time. The truth is though, I don’t know fun.

When I sit and think about what it is that I like to do, I can’t say anything. What are my hobbies? I don’t think I have any. I just get by every day trying to maintain. It feels like I am stuck. Some days are awesome, but then the next can be horrible.

I guess I am too uptight and don’t know how to manage it. It was my time to schedule vacation at work and I couldn’t figure out when to take time off. Who has a hard time taking vacation? I don’t want to take it because I know I will end up sitting at home, alone, with nothing to do. Who wants to take a week away from people to be alone? Not me.

I need a vacation from me–The person I have become. I can’t do anything right and it makes me feel bad. I try to do the best at my job yet I find that I can’t produce. I want to show that I’m the best and yet I can’t do it.

I don’t think I’m good enough for Rudy anymore. I feel like his life is taking off and I’m just a weight that is going to hold him back. I’m just the lowly little bank teller who isn’t going anywhere in life. Maybe someday my life will fix itself. I don’t know. I try and fall over and over.

I just feel like I’m running out of options. In the end though, I’m not looking for sympathy or kind words. I just needed to put out there how I feel.

Last week I decided that I was going to get my ass in gear and get back on Weight Watchers. Well, a week has passed since I first weighed in and now it was time again today. I started at 282 and am now at 277. That’s 5 pounds this week. =)

So I was on here earlier writing but I ended up scraping it. I don’t know how often I come here to write a post but end up deleting it. It feels like nothing I write is ever good enough anymore. I miss my early days.

My advice to anyone is to make sure you read those little disclosures they are mailing out. I am about to mail off my second rejection letter of the year already. Two of my creditors want to raise the rates on my cards. Chase mailed and wants to raise it 5%! I have 8.99%, a good rate for me, but they want to give me prime+9.99% which is 13.99% right now.

Watch out for the letters and make sure you reject them. You can keep your old rate as long as you reject any changes they mail you.

“We are sending you this notice to let you know that we will be making some changes to your credit card account in response to market conditions and to maintain profitability on your account. ” –YEAH RIGHT

So the wrong image comes up with a product name, but the image actually fits if you think about it.

Man this sucks. I hate when we have to “fall back” because now it is way dark way early. It’s pitch black outside and it’s 6. There’s no time to do anything at night anymore. I am so ready to get started on all my Christmas stuff and what not. It’s getting close to Christmas Lights time. I’m really excited about that part.

I sure wish we could just get rid of stupid falling back and springing forward. I like it dark in the morning and light at night. That’s how it should always be!

If George W. Bush dressed in drag… Read the rest of this entry »